22 December 2009
As most people know by know, the Minnesota Wild's team equipment bus caught on fire and the Wild's gear ended up completely destroyed was completely destroyed. Luckily Minnesota called their insurance agent, Flo, andÂ have already begun the process of filing a claim.
My inside sources* have been able to snag me a copy of some of the items claimed to be lost in the fire. I've highlighted some below, but I think some of the claims are pretty dubious.
Claim: Minnesota Wild Team Offensive Zone Strategy Guide - $1400 ($50 apiece x 25 players and 3 coaches)=
Status: Accepted: $100 Rejected: $1300
Rationale: It's pretty clear that only Mikko Koivu and Andrew Brunette actually open this book.
Claim: Derek Boogaard Fighting School Equipment - $1200
Rationale: Obviously fraudulent since the claim listed equipment such as "Visors", "Helmets" and "Hockey Sticks"
Claim: Martin Havlat's contract - $30,000,000
Rationale: Inconsistency is a pre-existing condition
Claim: Cal Clutterbuck's equipment - $5,000
Rationale: Although it likely started the fire, it was most likely undamaged because it hid behind Derrick Boogard and John Scott's equipment
Claim: 18,568 Referee uniforms - $372,000
Rationale: Every fan in attendance is not a referee, despite what they appear to think
Claim: 500 hours of Wild game film - $50,000
Status: Substitute found - $500 Awarded
Rationale: Ambien is a cheaper, acceptable substitute.
Claim: Hydroxychloroquine - $15,000
Status: Initially Rejected, since Accepted- $15,000
Rationale: A medicine treating rheumatoid arthritis, it was initially thought that Professional Athletes had no need for this. On the Wild's appeal, we found that one of the side effects is color blindness, and that color-blindness helps Wild players avoid nausea on nights they wear their Christmas tree uniforms.
Claim: 1st Round Draft Pick (1) (Compensation for Brent Burns)
Rationale: Brent Burns has been missing since before the fire. Hell he was missing before his concussion. Pre-existing condition.
Claim: 1st Round Draft Pick (2) (Compensation for James Sheppard)
Status: Substitute Found- Awarded: Bag of Pucks
Rationale: Just because Doug Risebrough spent a 1st rounder on James Sheppard, doesn't mean that's what he's worth.
Claim: 1st Round Draft Pick (3) (compensation for Mikko Koivu)
Rationale: Mikko Koivu is still listed as missing. The box scores says he actually played against Colorado and Ottawa, but 18,000+ people were unable to account for his presence both nights.
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